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I'VE OFFICIALLY SCREWED THE POOCH.

I mean, not literally, because that would be disgusting. But I did break one of the cardinal rules of Bro Code, which is equally appalling. You see, I fell for my best friend's sister after he explicitly forbid me to go near her. As if that weren't bad enough, I went ahead and married her while sh*tfaced in Vegas.

I know that I should get an annulment and forget the whole thing ever happened, despite the fact that our wedding night was the hottest thing...
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